Learning to make friends

As many of you know, I lead several social skills groups for kids and teenagers with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism.  Six group members has always been my maximum for my groups.  Recently, a boy was ready to join the high school group a little while before another boy was going to graduate from the group.  I brought up the idea with the group of briefly having seven members and asked whether that would be alright with them.

They responded enthusiastically: not only was it alright with them to have seven group members for a short period of time, why not expand the group more generally?  Why not have eight or even ten teenagers in the group?  As one boy put it, “that way we can make even more friends!”

I found that moment moving and profound.  Here was a set of kids most of whom had always been on the fringes of any social group, kids who  rarely if ever had friends.  These kids had chronically been the target of teasing, bullying, rejection and humiliation.  But here, in this group, they had discovered that social interactions with peers could be rewarding and fun.  They welcomed the opportunity to meet more kids because having that opportunity would enable them to “make even more friends.”

That view, and the sea-change it represents from the experience these kids have had previously in social settings, is what these groups are all about.