I am a truly terrible artist. If I try to draw something, it ends up with no resemblance whatsoever to what I was attempting to draw. I used to work with a family with 3 children, all of whom were fabulous artists. Fairly often, I have children do drawings as part of therapy. One day, the 7 year old daughter, whom I shall call Daphne said the words that brought dread to my heart: “you draw something too.” Dutifully, I took crayon in hand and drew one of the few things I knew how to draw (or so I thought) — a swan on water. You know the picture, essentially a big number 2 with wings & feathers floating on a bunch of little squiggles. Daphne looked at my picture and in a tremendously supportive voice said “that’s ok; I used to draw swans that way, too.” I suspect that Daphne’s a therapist now.
Well, many years later, my drawing disability continued unabated. Then, I had a life-changing experience. We had a game night with a number of friends and the decision was made to play Pictionary. I considered feigning a heart attack or a seizure to get out of it, but decided to stick it out. We played. I was without a doubt the worst player. And I had a wonderful time! This was the first time in my life that I really enjoyed something without feeling that I had to excel at it. I have always been a pretty driven person, striving for excellence in everything I do. Here, for the first time, I felt that I could simply relax and enjoy something with full knowledge that I was lousy at it. It was, truly, a freeing experience. I wish only that I had realized that such a thing was possible many years earlier. So, if this little life lesson can free someone up to gain pleasure in an activity at which he or she lacks talent, that would really make my day.
Dr. Matthew Mendel, licensed psychologist, specializes in child and adolescent psychotherapy and assessment, and forensic psychology.